Foot long subway at work...This was my breakfast+lunch+dinner. I worked from 3-9 on Friday. WHAT A SHITTY FRIDAY!!!!
After work I binge ate to cope with negative emotion. (bad idea). Some barbeque chicken pizza with gouda cheese on top, +nugetts and fries with habanera sauce. I wonder if I binge eat junk food because subconsciously I wanna hurt myself. I mean, this is self-destructive behavior, because I'm fully aware that junk food is bad for me. so I'm thinking.. the reason I'm craving for junk food is because I have this subconscious urge to do something harmful to myself. do you get it? ....
I get so annoyed from my volunteer work these days. I think I'm too bitter to help people these days. People are mostly rude and unappreciative. i really haven't heard genuine "Thank you." for very very long time. Can you believe some people call crisis hotline to jerk off? I'm totally losing my spirit.
oh, and this friday was even worse because I slept through my organic chemistry lesson. I made my tutor come out on Friday even though we don't usually meet on friday. how stupid is that? She hurried herself from the class to teach me something, and I blew it off. I apologized to her many many times on the phone, but she didn't even seem like she wanted to hear that.
FUCK.
ahh................................fuck.
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